Day Two

This was the day everyone was waiting for. The Group of Death. The teams ranked 3rd, 4th, 9th and 10th in the world. Well, the day everyone else was waiting for. I'm just happy as long as someone's kicking a ball about in front of a camera somewhere.

Honestly, that's all it takes. Go in your back garden, kick a ball against the shed for a few minutes while someone films it on their phone, turn it into an animated gif and DM me. I'll be stuck in this chair for hours. So you can imagine how I am right now. If it wasn't for Asda Online I'd starve to death about the middle of next week.

The two ranking teams in the group are Holland and Germany. Denmark and Portugal are considered unlucky to have drawn them. All these teams have won it before except Portugal, and they've been in the final.

Holland 0 Denmark 1

Holland made all the running early on and van Persie and Robben both had decent chances, so it came as a shock when Denmark took the lead after 23 minutes.

Poulsen ran at the defence, who blocked him off perfectly well, but a ricochet came to Krohn-Dehli on the left. He ran past a defender and hit it through Stekelenburg's legs.

The Dutch kept at it. They had a shout for a penalty turned down when Agger handled in the box, then Vlaar didn't properly connect with a header from a corner. Robben hit the post after a terrible clearance from the keeper, but they couldn't do anything from the rebound. Affelaye waltzed past the Danish defence, and shot narrowly over, then van Persie miscued one after not really controlling it properly. You felt it would come, but at halftime it hadn't.

The second half carried on as the first had finished. Robben, van Persie, van Bommel, each in turn found new ways to miss. Van der Vaart and Huntelaar came on for Afellaye and de Jong, and carried on in the same vein.

With ten minutes left the Danes took Rommedahl off for Mikkelsen. You may remember Rommedahl from his Charlton days. He's back in Denmark now, at Brondby. Danish players often like to semi-retire to Denmark, I've noticed. Their Superliga is roughly the same standard as the Scottish Premier League, with a few big teams and the rest at about Championship standard. You can drop down a level as your legs get tired and put your kids back in a Danish speaking school at the same time.

He's fit for an old 'un though, Rommedahl. Apparently he can do the 100 metres in 11 seconds, even when the chip shop isn't about to close. He may have felt his fitness justified keeping him on for the end, as everyone struggled to get through the tired minutes, and wasn't best pleased to be taken off.

But it was the Dutch that needed their strikers. In desperation, they brought Kuyt on. Turning to Liverpool players in desperation may turn out to be one of the themes of this tournament.

It didn't help, although the Dutch did have another handball appeal, this one much better. The final whistle went, and somehow Denmark had won. Holland had 28 attempts on goal, but none of them went in.

This happens sometimes. Say on average one attempt in ten goes in (WARNING: stat pulled out of my arse), the odds on missing 28 in a row are low but not astronomically so.  No point in being upset. You pick yourself up, you make another 28 chances against Germany, you take 3 of them. I wouldn't rule it out.

But it was an unexpected setback, and there won't have been many fireworks around the Zuiderzee last night. Especially as it disappeared decades ago when they diked it off and turned into a freshwater lake instead. It's a good thing I check these things. The question now was whether Portugal could do to Germany what Denmark had done to the Dutch.

Germany 1 Portugal 0 (so no, then)

Now I think about it, putting the score in the subheading may slightly reduce the element of dramatic tension for those of you who aren't following events as determinedly as I am.

The early stages in this one were notable for the high pressing line both sides were keeping. Instead of letting the opposition play it out from the back, they forced them to kick it away. Of course, they then faced the same problem themselves. It was tactically correct, but made for a scrappy first half.

Podolski had a couple of decent chances in the first half hour, but miskicked one and skied the second. Germany were bossing the game, but their own sloppiness combined with Portuguese solidity to frustrate them.

In fact it was Portugal who nearly scored, just before the break. Pepe's shot hit the corner of the bar, landed on the goalline and bounced back into play. Cue much chat about Lampard's effort in the last World Cup, also against Germany just before halftime, but this one clearly didn't cross the line.

The second half started much more openly. Portugal seemed to have decided it was time to give it a go. For one dizzying moment Ronaldo seemed to be clear, but Boateng got back at him.

72 minutes in, Gomez scored. The cross took a little nick off a defender, and looped invitingly onto his head. He put it comfortably beyond the keeper, and Germany were a goal up.

Yes, Germany. Mario Gomez has a Spanish father and a German mother, and grew up in Germany. He's good enough for either squad, but chose Germany as a youth team player nine years ago. This is a decision that may have looked better in 2003 than it did in 2010, but perhaps this is his (and their) year.

His goal tonight bought him another few minutes on the pitch. Klose was about to come on for him, but after he scored Löw waved Klose back on the bench. He brought him on anyway in the eightieth minute. Klose's getting on a bit for a whole game, but he's still Germany's senior striker.

Portugal brought on Varela for Meireles, and pushed forward. Ronaldo's shot forced Neuer to concede a corner, and Nani's cross bounced off the bar. Then it came to Varela, on his own in the box, but Neuer smothered his shot.

Nani's shot in the last minute of injury time was deflected for a corner, which Alves headed over, and that was it.

It never quite comes off for Portugal in tournaments, does it? They knock England out on penalties every now and again, but they tend not to get any further than that. They did get to the finals in Euro 2004, when they hosted it, but they lost to Greece.

Today couldn't have gone much worse for them. Not only have they lost to Germany, Denmark are now three points ahead. If they don't beat them next, they're probably going home.

For Germany, the expected good start. There's a Stephen Hendry quality about them, a certain resilience, which we came to anticipate as a matter of course from 1970 to about 1990. It disappeared for a decade or so, but recently they've looked like the Germany of old. You never beat them by much, they always seem to come back, and the moment when you think they've lost their mojo is the precise moment when they find that maximum break.

Tomorrow it's Ireland, or as I like to call them, Tony Meo.